Tuesday, January 4, 2011

I had a nightmare.

I was struck by lightning.

Waking up with a jolt, all i thought of was my PoPo scolding me.

"Watch your mouth boy, or you'll get struck by lightning"

Back when i was a kid, no older than 10? I was extremely disrespectful to my PoPo. Actually it wasn't just her. Everyone in my household including my Uncle DJ and my Mum incurred my juvenile tamper tantrums.

When i would come home after a long day at school, my popo would start nagging non-stop about eating dinner, bathing etc. My usual reply, probably too explicit to post, was cold, offensive and rude.

My campaign to go against the household authorities didn't seem to have an end in sight.

The consequences of my actions were often painful, but the beatings only added fuel to my pre-teen angst-laden rage.

I don't remember exactly when it happened but it did. I had committed yet another 'cane-worthy' offense in school and my mum reached her boiling point. That night when i came home from school my mother sat me down and talked to me about ethics and values for a good 3 hours. By then i had forgotten about the embarrassment i got from my public caning in school. What i felt was something very unfamiliar to me at that time.

Shame.

This new feeling sparked off a whole new range of emotions and thoughts which ran through my mind non-stop. That night, i couldn't sleep and only thought of becoming a better person. I had seemed to lost all respect for my peers my family and most importantly, for myself.

If i didn't respect myself as a person, what chance does some other person stand? I did not care how people looked at me, i didn't even care what i thought about myself. But now, i was absolutely disgusted with my behavior in the past and i sought to change.

Obviously the change didn't take place overnight.

Even till this day, i lose my temper at them now and then.

However, if my mum did not give me that lecture on that fateful day, i might still be the same rude 10-year old with no respect.

Since then, communication between my family has been a key point in our relationships. Without it, i wouldn't understand their motivations for disciplining me etc.

My mum had taught me to respect myself and treat others just as i would treat myself.

This lesson i would never forget (hopefully)